Content Warning: This article about living with intention does have themes of depression. Beyond Blue offers free, confidential and 24/7 counselling services for all Australians looking for a little help with their mental health.
It is really easy to just let life happen to us. I mean, isn’t it just chock full of things vying for your attention (ahem, a Netflix series calling you to binge it over the weekend), demanding your presence (hello 12th invitation for after-work drinks this month), or pushing you down a path (like your mother constantly saying you should be a lawyer)!?
We are a brand created by women, for women, to support you to follow your passion and boost your confidence.
Little and big things can fill up your days. Obligations, demands, chores, everyday life… Blink a few times and they’ve filled up two years.
On top of this, these things don’t just fill up your time. They can fill up your mind. Your energy. Your bank account. Your self-esteem. Your heart.
Now, this may sound exaggerated, but I’m sure you can think back to a time when this ‘unintentional filling’ or autopilot took over your life for a bit.
A story about living with intention
“Once upon a time there was a girl. Positive, optimistic, capable. Did great academically at school. Really good results for university entry. Could have done law or most sciences. She had a creative streak though. And grew up in a family business. So she went into a Commerce degree and majored in Marketing because that offered some creativity. Logical. Makes sense (hush little vague and scary niggling voice whispering there could be more).
She worked at the family business while completing her studies. Upon graduation, she still wasn’t really sure what she wanted to do, but she had the skills and experience, so she took over the family business’ marketing. Everyone was saying how great an opportunity there was for her to take over the business one day. Logical. Makes sense (hush little vague and scary niggling voice whispering there could be more).
So she’d smile and nod and see that it was a great opportunity. Who wouldn’t want this? Her parents were so happy that their daughter was shaping up to take over. Her success story was unfolding – educated, great job, great prospects. She worked (and shopped a lot. A lot.) and had a boyfriend she didn’t love but thought she should because he was nice and comforting and loved her. Logical. Makes sense (hush little vague and scary niggling voice whispering there could be more).
Get more out of every day, at work and at play, with our range of Day Organisers that will up your game. Its unique layout will clarify your priorities, stimulate productivity and give you a daily dose of motivation.
Through a few years, with a few tears (that boyfriend ended up being a wounded man who felt he had to lie to live up to a standard – so there was no choice but for that path to end, followed by a couple of other boys all deeply lovely but unsuitable), she continued smiling and nodding at all the opportunity and success put in front her. Logical. Makes sense (hush little vague and scary niggling voice whispering there could be more).
That is until she had a panic attack. On holiday. The panic and fear lasted for months. That smiling and nodding girl couldn’t function at normal life any more. No work. No play. No normal existence.
From that dark rock bottom, when it felt like maybe she couldn’t go on for much longer, the help she was getting (because there is always help) and the answers she was searching for, started shining a light on her and through her.
The life she was living had not been her own. It was written by logic, by the stronger vision of those around her, by the lack of anything clearer coming from herself. That was the easy path. The path of least resistance. But it was a path that made her wear a smiling and nodding mask that eventually had to crumble.
Well, not even crumble. It had to explode to get her attention!
That vague and scary niggling, whispering voice had to transform into a loud, giant panic monster to get her attention.
Now she had no choice but to finally hear her true self. She couldn’t keep going the way she had been. That autopilot had led to too much pain and suffering. She had to exit or change.
It took effort to explore and discover and uncover and listen. To deprogram and question and disappoint and confront. To allow joy and vision and dreaming. To find bravery and allow failure. But it was possible and so worthwhile.
And while that extreme anxiety came and went again a few times in her life, she could see it often arrived when she was getting complacent and needed to realign her values and vision and action.
The new path was sometimes zig-zaggy, but she had forged it through her own choosing. She walked down it with vision and goals that were all her own and experienced all the ups and downs of a well-lived life.
And so – with real smiles and enthusiastic nods, and with occasional frowns and emphatic ‘no’s – it’s all her own authentic story now.”
See? It’s no exaggeration on how these things can fill up years of your life! And while this story portrays ‘unintentional living’ on a large scale, can you see this theme playing out in your life, even on a smaller scale?
So how do you stop living a life that happens to you and create one of your own? How do you live intentionally?
3 steps to start living with intention
Sometimes this process can be a bit overwhelming on where and how to actually start living intentionally. The contents of the LH Agenda Planner beautifully guide you through the process bit by bit. It is not just about making a to-do list and planning your weekly schedule. It is a priceless and worthwhile investment of your time.
DREAM
Allow yourself to unfold to yourself. Discover what you love and don’t love. Your strengths, your skills, your traits, your quirks, your values, your uniqueness, your yearnings. These may change and evolve over time. You don’t need to find the perfect answers. Dreaming is a muscle you can build. Give yourself permission to dream and let yourself feel desire for things. No shoulds. No logic. No opinions of others. No fake smiling! Hear yourself. Pay attention. Listen.
Get it all out and start to get some clarity on what you’re leaning towards. See which dreams you really want to start living out in your world.
DEFINE
Translate those dreams into reality via goals. Set the right goals for you. Define exactly what it is you want and how you’re going to get there. Before someone else defines it for you! Work through what projects, steps or actions need to be done to support creating that dream. See ways in which you can set yourself up for success in achieving the things important to you.
DO
This is where the real magic happens. Action transforms things. But it is also the place that brings up your stuff. Be prepared to deal with the challenges and create momentum. You’ll be consciously focusing your energy on important tasks, seeing where distractions lie, supporting yourself with healthy habits, connecting your daily to-dos with your dreams. Checking in, reviewing, aligning. Hear yourself and pivot when needed.
There you are. With the tools to consciously design and intentionally live a life of your own. I can’t emphasise enough the importance and value of taking yourself through this process. Seriously. Just do it.
And why should you take any notice of what I want to emphasise?
Because from my deepest, truest soul, I wish for you:
- to see and accept your unique beauty and strength,
- to use your gifts and skills to impact others,
- to dream and design a life you love and live it full out,
- to see your true self expressed in the world and
- to give yourself every chance to ‘feel for real’ and authentically smile
And finally, because that girl from the story, after all the pain and darkness is pretty much living ‘happily ever after’ as she writes these words to you.
Here’s to Dreaming, Defining and Doing.
Arienne Gorlach is a life coach with a background in marketing, administration, and running her own planner and coaching business. She helped create and deliver the financial literacy campaign 10thousandgirl, is LH Agenda’s Community Coach, and loves all things related to planners, life design, goal setting, productivity, time management, and intentional living.
